“death of the author” only when I say so and at that point it’s public execution

bucksangel:

this is immensely funny to me

bizarrobrain:

tsukinoshinjiu:

You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?

kurtis-a-la-mode:

landrylovesmatcha:

what was i made for?

“ophelia” by john everett millais but it’s barbie and for the sake of this concept let’s pretend that there is in fact water in barbieland

captainlividllama:

campyvillain:

campyvillain:

campyvillain:

campyvillain:

if i think of baby swordfish again i’m gonna be sent into a coughing fit

best baby animal of all time. only the essentials (big funny snout)

THERES EVEN SMALLER ONES ARE YOU SERIOUS

fr tho imagine being this thing and you grow up into a beast that kills things with its nose what would you even do.

I’d kill things with my fucking nose what else

coolxatu:

second grade fire safety psa voice: now firefighters may look scary. firefighters look like the devil. when you see a firefighter, you might think, “aaah, this is a cyclops, like the one that killed my dad, and now it’s here to kill me too”, and you might want to kill the firefighter,

oscillatingheatpipe:

damnfool-of-a-took:

damnfool-of-a-took:

we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST

and breadsticks are its BONES

ALFREDO FLOWS inside its veins

its organs are CALZONES

LASAGNA plates its armored hide

and should the hero dare

you’ll find the noisome Jaws are strung

with garlic angel hair

The poem is written in common hymn meter (alternating lines of 8 and 6 syllables, usually iambs), so there are many possible tunes you can use to sing it:

• Amazing Grace
• Pokemon theme song
• Gilligan’s Island theme
• House of the Rising Sun
• O Little Town of Bethlehem
• Joy to the World

Feel free to add any favorites!

bisexualshakespeare:

rubynye:

https://imgur.com/a/c2fCE0m

Imgur

Change my meme (a replacement ‘Change my mind’ template) - template post - Imgur

[ID: an edited Calvin and Hobbes panel where Calvin sits, smiling, at a lemonade stand with a sign taped to the front of the table. It reads: It’s time to retire that other meme and replace it with this template. Change my mind.
Next image is the same meme but the sign reads: Steven Crowder does not deserve a meme format. Change my mind. /end]

coughloop:

Its sort of a “fancy boy” persona I often inhabit

lakemojave:

lakemojave:

Thanks for recommending me folk punk everyone. It sucks 💜

petrodragonicapocalypse:

[person 500 years ago knitting a sock] O Sister Margaret, regale me again with the tale of Vicar Wesley’s scandalous elopement with the baker’s daughter!

[me today knitting a sock] O Youtuber Hbomberguy, regale me again with the tale of SHERLOCK IS GARBAGE, AND HERE’S WHY

sreegs:

whenever i find a good world heritage post i do my best to carefully remove unnecessary “why is this so funny!!” or “i cant believe i found the original” reblog comments. sometimes it takes a bit of work digging back through the reblog graph to accomplish this but fine art restoration is tedious but important work

olivia-online:

I must not buy. Buying is the purse-killer. Buying is the little-dopamine that brings total bankruptcy. I will face my wishlist. I will permit the limited time sale to pass over me and through me. And when it has expired I will turn the inner eye to see its impulses. When the mania has gone there will be nothing. Only $ will remain.

littlemsterious:

i was thinking about that post comparing Jessica Rabbit as an asexual to Barbie and an asexual and then i thought of the Neil Gaiman post (was it a post?) about Crowley and Aziraphale being asexual and then this happened.

anyways. thoughts?